


Too Soon and Late Enough

by Saraste



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Battle of Five Armies Fix-It, Braids, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post Battle of Five Armies, but not for everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 11:17:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10785708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraste/pseuds/Saraste
Summary: In the wake of the battle, Nori mourns.





	1. Chapter 1

Nori sits silent on his bed, no, not his,  _ theirs _ , and touches his braid gently. It’s frayed, worn, has not been unwoven and braided back for some time. Because Nori can’t.

 

Not yet, not yet. 

 

It’s too soon and late enough, depending on who one asks, Nori’s opinion varies wildly, day by day. Some days he can’t bear to do it, not that last braid, others… on some days he wants nothing more than not to be reminded of that which was lost, which isn’t  _ his _ any longer.

 

He thinks, idly, of how he could even bear Dwalin cutting the braid off, severing their connection, easier than this. Because that would mean Dwalin would be there, could do that, could do the one thing Nori knows he’d never do. 

 

Now…

 

… now Dwalin will never do anything again. 

 

Nori curls around himself, unhappy and happy of that which Dwalin left behind, that Nori allowed, even if… 

 

Dwalin should be here for this.

 

Nori doesn’t care that they have a King and hale enough heirs, he cares that it came at such a cost. Erebor is home, now, but at what cost? To Nori, that price was too steep, too precious, too much. 

 

He could have liked respectability, could have liked his position as Dwalin’s braided, could… but it’s all gone now and it isn’t, as he has enough of Dwalin to have a position yet, always will. He won’t bear another’s braids, never.

 

Yet he’ll have to braid a new braid, soon enough, though not yet. 

 

Nori hates himself that he hopes he’s mistaken, that he isn’t reading his body right, that he wishes he wasn’t able to bear.

 

He cries.


	2. Chapter 2

When Nori feels it for certain, that first time, when he stops deluding himself that it’s something it isn’t… he’s both elated and sad. 

 

He hasn’t yet rebraided Dwalin’s braid, which he will rebraid for the rest of his life, cherishing every memory of Dwalin doing it as he does the work Dwalin should be doing, were he still with Nori elsewhere than in memories, in Nori’s heart.

 

And…

 

A part of Dwalin is with Nori even now, inside of him, the precious pebbling that Dwalin will never get to see, to hold, to love as much as he loved Nori. Nori will love their pebble with all his heart, will cherish them and give his all, but he will never be fully able to make up for the lack of Dwalin in their life, make away the ache in his heart.

 

He rubs at his middle, at the roundness there he hasn’t allowed himself to think of, of the life unquestionably moving inside. ‘You’re really coming, aren’t you?’ he says with a hushed, low voice that breaks a little. ‘I’ll need a new braid, won’t I?’

 

Dwalin should braid all new braids into Nori’s hair, Nori shouldn’t have to be the one to do it. But Dwalin has been given back to stone, walks Mahal’s halls now, is beyond Nori’s reach and Nori has to choose life, for what other choice is there for him, now? Dwalin would never forgive him, even if it weren’t for the pebble.

 

Nori doesn’t cry, even when he much wants to, for his tears have run out for the moment. It has already been months, uncounted mornings that he has woken alone, well, without Dwalin. For he hasn’t been alone, his siblings would never have let him.

 

Ori has been quiet and consoling, Dori the rock both of them have leaned on. Ori feels guilty of his own luck, Nori knows, but they have never discussed it, for Ori’s loss was averted by Dwalin’s actions, actions for which he paid a dear price.

 

Dwalin had died without even knowing for certain that they had made a pebble together, that it was more than just an idea, more than chance with the way they had been bedding, choosing to not be careful and see what came of it, had given life a chance. Nori tries to not think about all the what-if’s of if Dwalin had known for sure, he’s sure Dwalin would have made it all the same way anyway, and Nori might not have berated him for it.

 

But all what-if’s are so much lost tomorrows, and will never bring Dwalin back, even if part of him remains, is joyfully alive, a promise for future smiles, because Nori cannot yet smile again, not yet.

  
  
  



End file.
